Home Again

Well, I am back in the Tri-Cities now, and for awhile at that. I wont be going back to Linfield until the first week in February. Yes, I know most of you are asking, why such a long break? At Linfield because we are on semesters they have put in what we call a Jan-Term. This means that you can take up to 5 credits, and they condense a class into about a four week period. Because I came in with so many credits there was no need for me to take the classes so I am now home until February. Now the most important question to answer is what the heck am I going to do with all this free time.

Before we go into the endless possibilities of what I will be doing for the next month and half we need to go over a few things. It is the strangest feeling in the world to have absolutely nothing to do. I mean really really odd. Since I started high school I have never had a summer when I did not have something to be working on. Summer projects for upcoming classes, books to be read, projects to be finished. Not to mention that there was summer volleyball camps and the last few tournaments for club ball. So now to have literally nothing to do for two months was strange indeed. Being in college means that you always have something that you could be working on, reading more of the chapter, going over your notes, starting that essay that is due next week, as those who went to college know. Going from always having something to do to nothing is nothing short of a slap in the face.

Now to what I will be doing with all this free time. For one I plan to try and relax, but I must admit this gets old after a few hours before the need to get up and move comes. Unless, of course, I am buried in a book and I plan on burying myself in plenty of books. Catching up with friends while they are still in town is definitely part of the plan as well. Although they will only be here for about one more week.

Although what I am most excited about doing over break is to help out with my old club volleyball team, Strike Force. Mr. Baker found himself in a bind when the previous 18s coach got a coaching position in Arizona and he found himself with two teams to coach. While I am in town the plan is to help him coach the 16s as much as possible.

The last thing on my agenda for my break is to spend time with Max as well. Today we finally made plans, lets just say it was like pulling teeth out of this kid to do it. In his words "I dont plan," and hes not kidding. But he will be coming over to our side of the state for a concert with a friend and then I will drive back to his home town with him for a visit. I am really looking forward to seeing where hes from, although I have to admit I am kinda nervous to meet his friends. But we will cross that bridge when we get there.

Thats about it for my plans for January, I love being home but I gotta admit I am excited to go back to school too. So if youre not one of the family, who I know I am gonna see, be sure to give me a call so we can chat, go to lunch, or whatever, I got plenty of time to catch up! =)

P.S. please excuse any typos, I figured that I have worked long and hard for my break so I am not going to bother with "school" stuff. hehehe

I'm Back

Hello everyone, its been awhile I know. What can I say, college keeps you ridiculously busy, not to mention that when you arent doing homework you take every second to your advantage to socialize. I guess you could say that that is my excuse as to why its been months since my last post...I'm apologize if you dont find it a good one.

A lot has changed since I last made an entry, and you could probably call that an understatement. And since most of you who take the time to read my blog know the stories for the most part I am really not wanting to go into everything so I am just going to pick up in the now instead of what happened. (Run-on sentence I know but not feeling like fixing it).

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately, college makes you do that. It definitely brings up an insane amount of questions about everything; relationships, the future, the past, beliefs, religion, everything. In college you meet people from all walks of life, with different experiences, hobbies, stories, and personalities. This forces you as a person to question everything you have ever known and be open to new experiences and ideas. I will not deny that this is hard, in some ways this has been some of the hardest things I have had to handle here at college. Finding the balance between learning as much as you can and continuing to stand up for what you believe is difficult. What I have discovered is that the more things you try and answer the more questions you have. Then within these answers and questions you begin to doubt things and believe others to the point that you dont know what is right and wrong anymore.

And the point of not knowing what is right and wrong anymore is where I find myself at this moment. I must admit that I have been thinking a lot lately and not really gotten anywhere when it comes to an answer that I find satisfying. But I am coming to a realization. Maybe its not about right and wrong but instead about the individual. There will never be a one single answer to any question asked, and most likely never a good consensus either. This means one thing, you have to decide for yourself. You need to figure out you and decide what "you" does or does not want to do because if you dont know who "you" are other people are going to decide for you.

This leads to the idea of "me" or "you" or whatever you would like to call it. Once again, I need to be honest, I am still trying to figure this idea of "me." Sure, I have the basic foundations of me but what about the defining, ultimate points that make a person uniquely and solely, them. So while I try and discover this about myself I am still trying to live by the idea of "always do what you are afraid to do." Its not easy, thats for sure, and I really need to try and be a little better at this but I am working on it. Well, thats what has been occupying my mind as of lately, intense, I know, but hopefully all this thinking will get me somewhere.