I'm Back

Hello everyone, its been awhile I know. What can I say, college keeps you ridiculously busy, not to mention that when you arent doing homework you take every second to your advantage to socialize. I guess you could say that that is my excuse as to why its been months since my last post...I'm apologize if you dont find it a good one.

A lot has changed since I last made an entry, and you could probably call that an understatement. And since most of you who take the time to read my blog know the stories for the most part I am really not wanting to go into everything so I am just going to pick up in the now instead of what happened. (Run-on sentence I know but not feeling like fixing it).

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately, college makes you do that. It definitely brings up an insane amount of questions about everything; relationships, the future, the past, beliefs, religion, everything. In college you meet people from all walks of life, with different experiences, hobbies, stories, and personalities. This forces you as a person to question everything you have ever known and be open to new experiences and ideas. I will not deny that this is hard, in some ways this has been some of the hardest things I have had to handle here at college. Finding the balance between learning as much as you can and continuing to stand up for what you believe is difficult. What I have discovered is that the more things you try and answer the more questions you have. Then within these answers and questions you begin to doubt things and believe others to the point that you dont know what is right and wrong anymore.

And the point of not knowing what is right and wrong anymore is where I find myself at this moment. I must admit that I have been thinking a lot lately and not really gotten anywhere when it comes to an answer that I find satisfying. But I am coming to a realization. Maybe its not about right and wrong but instead about the individual. There will never be a one single answer to any question asked, and most likely never a good consensus either. This means one thing, you have to decide for yourself. You need to figure out you and decide what "you" does or does not want to do because if you dont know who "you" are other people are going to decide for you.

This leads to the idea of "me" or "you" or whatever you would like to call it. Once again, I need to be honest, I am still trying to figure this idea of "me." Sure, I have the basic foundations of me but what about the defining, ultimate points that make a person uniquely and solely, them. So while I try and discover this about myself I am still trying to live by the idea of "always do what you are afraid to do." Its not easy, thats for sure, and I really need to try and be a little better at this but I am working on it. Well, thats what has been occupying my mind as of lately, intense, I know, but hopefully all this thinking will get me somewhere.